Identifying Self

Yesterday
Worked on getting some items ready to sell. I want to get rid of as much stuff as possible, first to clean out my closets, second to gather some cash for an iPhone. I really like the idea of having all my stuff in one device instead of the three I now use. I have a PDA for studying Chinese with Pleco software, a phone, and my iPod. I really enjoy using my iPod for learning... I have some wonderful podcasts from iTunes; TED Talks, NPR things, Bible teaching, science, psychology, history, and so much more.

We had worship last night, because Sunday was a working day due to the New Year's holiday. Afterward we agreed to hire one of the brothers as a part-time minister. He will continue serving the church, but now with a more dedicated focus. He has been considering getting a job, which would have drawn him away from his areas of giftedness in ministry. He will be supported by the local believers and will be a great asset to the family here!


The Daily Bible - Genesis 12-14
Abram is called and blessed by God. Abram goes to Egypt because of the famine, but lacks faith that God will provide and protect him and his wife Sarai, so he lies. The diseases caused among Pharoah's family could have simply come from the fact that Abram was a shepherd and the Egyptian Pharoah's family was not, however it happened it was ordained by God to remove Sarai and bless Abram. Then Lot and Abram separate. There is a battle among kings which brings about Lot being captured... why don't the people of Sodom and Gomorrah recognize the God of Abram as their deliverer? Why didn't they turn from their sinful behaviors and be thankful?


Boundaries in Marriage - What's a Boundary, Anyway?
The following are all examples of boundaries:

• Truth - One must speak the truth or else there are two lives being lived; the outside false identity creating a painful and unloving reality and the inside truth of personal lack of boundaries.
• Consequences - Sometimes, well, often words are not enough. One must be sure to follow up words with actions. Words: I will not receive such hurtful words from you. Actions: I will now leave the room.
• Emotional Distance -If necessary one must establish an emotional divide for a time to protect oneself, especially in harmful situations. Addictions, abuse, and other such negative levels merit some emotional separation. "I love you, but won't be close to you until you get help for your problem."
  
• Physical Distance - When emotional distance isn't enough, there are reasons to separate for a time. Removing oneself from a verbal or physical fight is a short duration. Rehab for an addiction is one example of a longer duration.
  
• Other People - Sometimes people need help getting a backbone of their own. They need other people to help them such as counselors, therapists, members of the family or church, ministers, elders, etc. They can help through education, intervention, and training in how to handle situations properly.
  
• Time - When trust has been broken, time is required to develop trust again. Or sometimes it is meant as a limit to how long the conversation which leads to fights will last. One hour for dealing with the budget each week, one season for really working on certain goals.
  

Stephanie, a person from the book, is an example of working on boundaries within relationship, because boundaries are meant for relationships. Running away is not setting boundaries. Fences between neighbors help neighbors get along, while miles of pavement, mountains, and oceans are examples of fleeing relationship.

Personal note: Jaime and I are reading a book called, I Married You, Not Your Family. Part of this book deals with recognizing the need for establishing a good self identity before marriage, and if necessary within marriage. The ideas in Boundaries in Marriage also have this same mentality, the books kind of blend together in this regard.

If families are healthy, balanced, and nurturing development in the children, then college can be a place to further develop one's self identity. However, many families are not so healthy. I think that many young people would do well to have a few years away from family to develop their sense of self. In fact, college should give some sense of this, but in American culture it is often a time of partying. Christian colleges are too much like parents at times, so the sense of self isn't as completely formed. Each person is different... but I have found reading many books on relationships, developing character, and understanding life in general have really helped me to recognize who I am. Of course, my text book for life is the Bible, beyond the Bible there are many more I would highly recommend, and most of these are on Facebook's weRead.


Prayer
Thank you God for all your blessings. I have learned so much from Your Holy Word and Your Holy People. Thank you even for the difficulties in my life that have blessed me with the ability to develop boundaries, understanding of life, character, and so much more faith in you. Give me a greater understanding of myself, so that I can bless others with Your blessings without getting in the way.