Cookies, Joseph, The "Good" Spouse

Yesterday
Missed a day because I didn't read first, but checked email and other things while trying to buy train tickets. Then made tons of cookies with Jaime. When we hand out these cookies, we'll have blessed our entire building with cookies and an invitation to study the Bible.

The Daily Bible - Genesis 37-42
Joseph, he favorite of his father and the envy of his brothers, dreams about how his family will bow down to him one day. As he goes to inspect his brothers' work and report back to his father, his brothers want to kill him. Instead Reuben encourages them to throw him into a pit and Judah says, "Let's sell him." Joseph winds up being sold to Potiphar, whose wife convinces him Joseph is a potential rapist and throws him into jail.

Judah has wicked children, God kills them. With one son left, Judah fears his son will die and doesn't do right by Tamar, so Tamar acts as a prostitute to get a son through Judah. He wants to burn her at the stake, but she produces his seal, cord, and staff. Judah relents, but doesn't seem to really repent.

Joseph interprets dreams, becomes the ruler of Egypt, his brothers are sent to buy wheat from him.

Boundaries in Marriage - Setting Boundaries with Yourself
Being the "Good" Spouse
Overly focusing on a spouse's problems and not dealing with personal weaknesses, leads one to believe they are the good spouse. The spouse that doesn't appear to be as bad then receives comfort from friends that the "bad" spouse just doesn't appreciate your sacrifices. All the while, the "good" spouse is actually being harmful by neglecting truth, directness, and being passive. The "good" spouse needs to set limits, establish consequences, and not take a morally superior position. We are all sinners. We all need to focus on God's goodness, not other people's failures or triumphs. (Romans 3:10-18, 1 Corinthians 10:12)

Living by the Same Rules
We all have different weaknesses, so we must not hypocritically judge one another. If one is distant, the other did something to encourage that distancing. If one is controlling, the other feels that and withdraws. If one is angry, the other is aware and doesn't desire closeness. But in each instance boundaries must be set and truth must be applied to the situation so that there is recognition of both failings and repentance by both parties. Then relationship can be restored and flourish.

Freeing Your Spouse by Setting Limits with Yourself
One spouse (Brian) is immature in handling money and jobs, the other (Andie) nags and nags, but doesn't have any personal limits or consequences for this immaturity. Andie decides enough is enough, limits her nagging and seeks the help of a financial counselor to understand how to give proper consequences to Brian's inappropriate behavior. Now Brian wakes up to his immaturity instead of running from his wife (who was behaving like his mother).

Truly limiting negativity and pushing forward with proper personal limits and consequences for inappropriate behavior allows everyone to mature, heal the relationship, and flourish.

Prayer
God bless me to find you first every morning, to set aside all the distractions and just focus on you for a time. God we pray that you bless the people in our building to receive the cookies, to consider their need for you, to be drawn to you, and that we can assist them in some way to learn more about your amazing love!